One Step Closer

I

2008-12-22T03:31:00.000-08:00

I am satan

I am god

I am evil

I am power

I am you

I am me

I am good

I am we

I am Jesus

I am ghost

I am Mary

Devil’s roost

I am life

I am death

I am the tunnel

Angel’s nest

I am pain

I am pleasure

I am orgasmic

Adam’s leisure

I am light

I am dark

I am illusion

Wolf’s bark

I am weakness

I am might

I am blind

Incessant sight

I am atom

I am universe

I am ephemeral

Eternal verse

Don’t turn back

2008-02-18T11:00:00.000-08:00

Can you look me in the eyes anymore?

Can you look in yours too for that matter?

You hurt me, broke me and more

You stabbed me till the blood wont spatter

You thought you did the right thing

But then you thought again

You pushed till I cringed

And then you tried again

I tried to look away

But you didn’t let me

I tried to trod away

You showed me we

I saw you as no one did

You saw nothing you claim

I saw you as I saw no one

Are you blind or I imagine?

No no no I not on drugs

No no no I don’t hallucinate

Oh you don’t see the crux

Oh you unsighted

You don’t really deserve me

Buddy, mate or else

Don’t turn back, dont

I’ll not be there

Ohh baby don’t turn back

I have already gone

I still love you

But on the path you had shown

Leave now

It’s a choice you made

Don’t feel bad

You should not be afraid

Don’t turn back

You’v lost the right

I can’t crack

How hard try you might

Look away

Walk away

Run

Runnnnnnnnn…

Far away

From me n you

Runnnnn…

Oh sweetie it’ll be good

Oh baby, leave

Oh honey I’ll love you

Will that put you too sleep?

Blackhole

2007-10-29T03:14:00.000-07:00

Hope the old followers of my blog stumble back.. i call this one

Blackhole

[Soft whisper]

Somebody inside

Somebody in there

Screams in agony

Sobs in despair

Break me shake me

But keep me alive

Wanting to be free

Drugged to die

Reasons unclear

Logic undefined

Doing the supposed

Ruing & crying

[Screaming]

I dun wanna do this..

I dun wanna do this…

Show me the liiiiiiiiiiiiiiight……..

[Guitar Leads]

I am

Waiting

For the

Tunnel to end

I am

Praying

For the roads to mend

Winding tunnel

Refuses to cease

Weak mumble

Save me please

Amble, walk, scurry

Light- low, high

Past - dead, buried

Approaching unknown whyyy?

Momma give me your hand

Momma save me from the dark.

Momma do you know the way?

Momma show me the path.

And the tunnel goes onnnn..

The light flickers

But there is no dawn

There is no daaaawn aaaah

Am waaaaiting for the tunnel to end

Am waiting for the roads to mend

Son, you deserve this. It’s a black hole, pitchblende.

Smoke pot

2007-10-24T10:59:00.000-07:00

well my creative juices have totally dried up after joinin my new workplace.. yeah i know life sucks.. a friend found my blog today randomly n i remembered that i have one.. putting up sm stuff i wrote randomly a few months back when i had just got back into a shitty routine job.. this is called

Smoke pot

Run run run run runnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn…………

--leads--

Early morning blues

Smoke in my loo

Evil pardner, fuck you

Butts in my pot

Shit smoke rot

Blithering moth

Devil’s botsssss

Stinking nostrils

Putrid cocktails

Intestinal trails

Poooooooooooot.. smoky smoky pooooooooooooot

Pottyyyyy smoke…..

Smokey pooooooooot

My turn to spread filth

Drag in, in bliss

Crazy fuckin shit

Another butt fresh

Lungs bottom crash

Out fresh air

Smokeeeey pot pottttttty smoke..

Smoke in mah pot..

Question..

2007-08-15T02:56:00.000-07:00

Freedom means different things to different people. For a nation it might be riddance from alien powers, for a teenager it might be staying out with friends, for a writer it might be expressing himself without the editor’s delete button working on him, for a retired person it might be traveling & seeing places which he never could. Freedom is not something you achieve by singing the national anthem twice a year. These symbolic days are important just to remind people of moments of importance in the past, but the past would remain the past. In the struggle for existence in our everyday life we generally forget the true importance and significance of freedom. Bound by all directions with our family, our work, our duties and responsibilities we forget to live in the present. We are prisoners of our past and our future, definitely not free in the moment. The sad part is that we are so because we choose to be. We choose to do what we do, so that we ‘can’ have a better future. We plan our funds so that we have a lot of dough stashed away when we retire, we don’t spend on things we want today so that we have enough for things we might or might not want tomorrow. But that’s how we have always been, that’s how we have been brought up to be. To be what we are today, bound in tensions and worries about our bills, our investments, the next installment for our house. Why are we doing this in the first place, to be happy right? And if the moments you live in don’t give you happiness what’s the purpose of this whole exercise. I am not preaching about how you should lead your life, I am definitely nobody to preach. But questioning your actions can always give you a new perspective about things. People call me a rebel because I always do what I want. Does that make me a rebel, at 3 A.M on a chilly night I feel like taking a long bike ride, and I do it. Does that make me crazy? Hell, I am just trying to be happy. If I wouldn’t have gone for the ride because I have work tomorrow, it would probably have left me grumpy not only through the night but the next day at work too. Although I might reach late at work, it’s better than a non-productive day. So similarly this concept applies to ever action of yours, if you plan each and every aspect of your life the odds will always remain equal that you might or might not screw up. Next time you have a strong urge to do something, just question yourself: is this what you want most at this moment? If the answer is yes, just go ahead and do it. All the thoughts you waste on the debate in your mind is not worth it. The happiness earned in that moment is worth more than anything else. Feel free, to be free.. works for me..

Rats

2007-08-02T09:56:00.000-07:00

Get rich and die

That’s your life

A rat you remain

For pennies you strive

Miss the moments

What’r they worth

Lift the goblets

Golden cups

Crappy people

Dumb psyche

Kiss their asses

Ladder high

Rat to mole

Step by step

Underground hole

Drowned in lice

Filthy gross

Pound wise

Shit lover

Full of vice

Cheater rogue

Masked crime

Moral-less material

Wingless flying

Soulless heart

Cluttered mind

Perfect mask

Toothy smile

Buried heads

Truth neigh

Neighbor’s hole

Jealous prying

Fucking rat

Gutless creep

Die a rodent

Wealthy cheap

2007-06-26T09:22:00.000-07:00

found this on my flash drive, written a few months back..

Highway friends

Must be a common happening but was seeing it for the first time even though I travel a lot by road.
Had to reach pune by 12, caught a cab from vashi at 9:30. Nice jovial newspaper guy driving an indica, mungda playing on the car’s player and maiden on mine. The car jam-packed with newspapers, just space enough for another passenger on the back seat. In fact the car was so heavily loaded that we had to stop a couple of times due to some strange sound coming from the rear, finally realizing that it’s just the mudguard touching the road due to the heavily loaded dickey. We stopped for a tea n smoke after an hour’s drive, somewhere on the expressway. Nice friendly banter going on with the driver and the only other passenger. I was surprisingly cheerful considering I had just quit my job a day before and my lovely ex-girlfriend refused to meet me again. All was fine till then as we proceeded towards pune. Suddenly the driver started swerving the car crazily on the expressway, from left to right and then right to left. I was shit scared, just about managed to remove my headphones and give him a scared ‘why’ look. He just looked back coldly and swerved again. By this time I managed to mutter something, my voice drowning in a truck’s mad honks from behind. The driver finally looked at me, smiled n said “He’s a friend”. ‘Oh..!!’ I managed to mutter as both our car and the truck aligned parallel to each other. As the driver raised his hand to greet his friend the truck driver honked crazily in acknowledgment. After another minute or two of swerving, cutting lanes and honking we were off on our way after both of them ended this friendly encounter with a goodbye honk each.
How he managed to recognize the truck is beyond my understanding, cuz the way I see it all trucks look the same. But this guy definitely knew how to find his friends, after all he had been driving on this road night after night since the past 4 years.
Finally I cajoled him to take a slightly different path which would drop me near my home. Bid my new friend goodbye, wondering how different our lives were. Saw the time, 15 minutes to midnight both of us on time.

2007-06-14T03:15:00.000-07:00

Wasted

Uncool uncared unwanted yet unfazed
I don’t need adjectives I’m simply wasted
Superfluous liquids flow my blood crazy
Dense fumes my mind hazy
Chemical reactions inside my brain
Ghosts around me driving me insane
I’m bloody hell wasted..
Fuck yeah am totally fuckin wasted
Take me home if I’m not yet there
Take me home if I have one man
Take me home if I am still alive
Take me home n leave me to die
A flicker of light in my face
Am I home already is that the police?
Hey I have a license why that breathalyzer
Leave me alone I’m fuckin wasted

Puneeeeet you crazy retard you did it again
Mommy I didn’t do it, no I was in my room.. please don’t hit me any more I can’t take the pain.. mommmmmy..

n I open my eyes yet again
am I home yet, oh please I need a drink
Oh I feel like a loser, hard not being one
Another swig, am I on the brink?
Hell no, I am still wasted
The sky’s still purple the road still pink

No pink so very much sucks, can’t you get yourself something better.. I mean look at you..
Ok sweetie why don’t you get yourself somebody better
Hey babie wait..

[deep inhaling noise.. coughs]

Hey brothers you all I ever got
You friends is all I ever earned
Thick n thin you always been there
Wind or snow I got a place to stay
But then you can’t blow me
Oh fuck you barely know me
There’s more to me
Than you could find out all these years
Hell I got a heart you’v ears?

Sonofabitch whaddya think you are
[sound of a fight] Thud.

Destiny sucks if I ever had one
Fate’s getting fatal but that’s for all
Am waaaaaasted am wastedddddd yeah..
Uncool uncared unwanted yet unfazed
I don’t need adjectives I’m simply wasted

Puneet you stupid moron ‘wasted’ is an adjective..
Am sorry mommy :(

Don’t know why

2007-05-15T04:05:00.000-07:00

Don’t know why
Why poison doesn’t appease
Don’t know why
Why music doesn’t please
Seems all the same
But something’s changed
Love seems distant
Still at unease
The cans don’t clatter
The music’s stopped
Heart doesn’t chatter
Slowing down clock
Closer seems the edge
With every breath I take
Never close enough
Close enough to quit
The past keeps haunting
Present in trough
The future’s daunting
Roots raise brow
Verses don’t end
Darkness awake
Here’s another bend
n again I slew
Don’t know why..??
Don’t know why..!!
Second coming would be better
In this hope I die

2007-05-10T10:50:00.000-07:00

Hanging from the umbilical

A wave away from eureka
A drop away from the flood
A phase from growing up
I can’t wait for the blood

Hold my hand I’m not that sure
Don’t give up on me
It just might cure
At least not now
Oh baby don’t go away
The nights are restless
The days silent
The words won’t come out
But the soul’s violent

On the edge
Still holding on
The tightrope’s cracking
N I walk alone
But I hang
N I haaaaaaaang
I’m hanging from the ummmmmmmmmmmbilical

I’m hanging from the umbilical aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah
Breaking almost free
The end’s yet to be
A day I hope to live to see
I’m hanging from the umbilical
I’m hanging from the umbilical oh yeaaaaah

--guitar leads--

She crosses way
Wherewithal Disarray
Crazed I still play
Plaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayeeeeeee yeaaah
The lamp’s still burning still going on
Belief still living
The lunacy gone
Next step’s the devil’s know
The devil knowwwwwwwwwwwws yeah

Still holding aaaaah
Still walking aaaaaaah
Still living aaaaaaaaaaaah
Still hanging on…
Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaanging from the umblical

2007-04-08T13:49:00.000-07:00

well this is not one of those songs i write.. hell it's not even a poem.. doesnt have proper rhythm n stuff.. but heck its the words which matter.. i call this

Today

n i wake up a different man
different yet again
was it a new side i woke up?
or was it the same?

all the grief seems just like a ball
a lump in my throat
which i can ignore
ignore if i want

n they don't hurt anymore
cuz it's breaking free from the past
n are nothing really
nothing but shards of glass

have seen all kinds of highs
but the high on life
but its not over yet
it'll soon be mine

my desires always unfulfilled
there are a lotta obstructions
i cross some, try n be sure
land up with vague abstractions

n i struggle again
i fall hard but still i smile
yes i do it
it is worthwhile

yesterday's gone, nothing doing
tomorrow's yet to take birth!
but today's important
wud live it for what it's worth

2007-03-26T12:59:00.000-07:00

Unity in diversity....?

Since junior school have been reading this phrase in almost every civics book. How true or how farce is this really with reference to India. On my 3rd trip down south I certainly see diversity on the way but unity. Hmmm….
Some 6 hrs from Chennai at a small station saw a group of railway police giving away pamphlets and announcing something in tamil. They were educating people about the rules you are supposed to follow while traveling (including the ‘no smoking in train’ one :-x )
While handing me a pamphlet the policewallah asks me in a very strange accent (probably was speaking hindi after ages): ‘aap hindi hai?’ Now I didn’t know how to react, I mean WTF do you mean by that.?? If Hindi ~ Hindustani then we all are one. Or probably he was referring to vernacular thing. In any case he handed me a pamphlet in English after I nodded to his previous question. He obviously didn’t have any in hindi, not that it makes a lot of sense getting them printed in hindi as there are hardly any people down south who speak our national language. It’s not this sudden patriotic rush in me which makes me write this, but just plain cold facts. Last time when I was in Chennai I did some research and found the schools just don’t have hindi as a language, they have options of French, German, Spanish etc. but no Hindi. Obviously people down south really abhor this language or is it something else? I mean Hindi apparently is one of the easiest languages to speak in comparison to all those languages in the southern states which sound the same to us northies. Or is it an age old fight that we are outsiders and they are the real Indians, which is to a lot of extent true as Dravidians were the ones who had always been here, and we Aryans came and started settling around. Now, is that a reason to hate us? According to them definitely, cuz I don’t see any else. And trust me they hate you, everywhere you go you’ll be seen with a piercing gaze (as if screaming, ‘You bloody outsiders’) Everyone, from the autowallahs to doodhwallas to your maid despise you. Ok, enough condemning the southie attitude, this post is supposed to do more than that. Let’s talk about the north eastern states, the 7 sisters as we proudly call them. Are they equally proud enough to be Indians? Let me reframe my question, do they even consider themselves Indians? Surprisingly you’d find the answer to be ‘No’. We spend so much money on our military out there. We give them special citizenships where they don’t have to pay taxes and get other benefits. Still whenever somebody from the north east goes to any other part of India he says ‘I am going to India today’. Now these things can really hurt you as a nation. Go to any regional states (all except central states, delhi etc) and you find a strong strong regional feeling there which will make you feel out of place. Kashmir definitely deserves a mention here, but then I could go on n on. So all in all we don’t have a nation but several nations sticking together just for the heck of it. Diversity definitely; but unity none at all. And amongst all this there are people like me who keep traveling from place to place, belonging to every place they go, but still searching for a home..

2007-03-16T03:03:00.000-07:00

Demons in my head

They scream in agony
They scream existence
They scream in approval
Of all the evils I’v done
They pray for forgiveness
And they do it again
Of all the places in the world
They gotta be in my head
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaargh
Deaaaaaaaamons yeaah deaaaamons
Deaaaamons in maaah head

One for everyone
Multiplying as you breathe
Oh yeah they r there
For myself and thee

What you see is insanity
what’s behind you never see
cross my heart cross my soul
I don’t own that ghoul
It’s all out there which has taken home
Taken me and will take you

Deaaaaaaaaaamons in maaaaaaaaaaaah head yeaaah…!!

Hahaha [evil laugh]

You can run as much you like
You can hide for all you might
But you cant escape
Cuz the devil has your heart
They nod in approval
They cheer in chorus
They welcome you aboard
Cuz you’r just another demon in your soul
So make it easy, accept thee
Accept thy fate
It’s for all mate
You just one me another
A deaaaaaaamon
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaah demon…
Aaaaaaa deaaaaaaaaaaaamon in mah head

[chanting]
They scream in agony
They scream existence
They scream in approval

They pray for forgiveness
And they do it again
Of all the places in the world
They gotta be in my head
They’r just demons in my head…

------------------------------X-----------------------------------

Hey louie I got 20 million you want one?
Naaaaaah me got 20 million n two you take one from me.. muaaahaaaaaaa

2006-12-19T04:53:00.000-08:00

Green leaves i need you, need you to make more
to wake up in the morning, and not feel like a whore
to make my dreams more than a bubble of soap
elusive,unreal, important although..!!
green leaves o green leaves where art though?

2006-12-19T01:56:00.000-08:00

Dry tears do not trickle
Heavy clouds n not a drizzle
Crazy train zoom zoom..
Bomb inside boom boom..
Banging head against the air
Soul dead, do i care?
Inane heart insane soul,
Freaky chakras, a living ghoul
Empty lanes deep within
Pumping blood.. formalin??
Hazy images, present or past
Zombie, freak, how long would last?

Lives to see another day
Last one, last one i say..

2006-12-18T00:39:00.000-08:00

Between mankhurd n vashi, hanging from a local, Pantera screaming in mah ears.. I contemplate my own suicide note..

100kph zooming the ocean,
faster zooms the mind.
A moment of wrongness
would do humanity a kind
No ashes to burn,
no grave to dig.
No crying people,
the devil would grin.
The schools would feast,
the cycle reversed.
Would rest in peace
in a lake of tears....

2006-11-27T05:44:00.000-08:00

Fucked up

Every body gets one day
All of’em are in some way
I am, you are and everybody is
Soooooo fucked up

Green’s not perceptible
The bills pile on
Crazed n fucked up
Insane I go on

I thought so, I knew so
It had to happen
Thwarted frustrated
so fucking misshapen

yeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah that’s me
dazed, zonked, blurry vision
six by six for six six six
on a defiant mission

insensitive numb
no fuckin emotion
relations rituals
what’s the difference

mmmmmmmm yeahhh
Incapacitated unskilled, lack of confidence
deficient defective so inconsistent
wanting n lacking so crazily fucked up

oh yeah did I say ‘Fucked up’
fucked up ohhh yeaaaaaaaaaaaaah
fucked up mmm hmmmm
fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuucked up
yeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah
SO FUCKED UP

[Soft hum]
Every body gets one day
All of’em are in some way
I am, you are and everybody is
Soooooo fucked up

2006-11-16T07:35:00.000-08:00

Beer for company [part: 1]

I hate it when the music stops
Hate it when the lights go off
Hate it when I am alone
Was lonely from my mother’s womb

They screech n they cry
Those fucking losers don’t let me go high
People here n people there
Lonely I know is the best way

Beer for company totally kicks
Who think otherwise are crazy pricks
I might be a freak, a crazy act
But beer for company is total kick ass

God might suck n the devil might die
Five bottles down you don’t care why
Froth a li’l n lager a lot
Drowning in it, better than pot

All you motherfuckers with soda n ice
Can lick my dick clean n nice
I got a pal I got a mate
A bottle or two or prolly a crate

O miss, O lady, bitch n ma’am
U might be nice, but I give a damn
You think I am alone honey..??
Naaaaaaah I got beer for company…

Beer for company [part: 2]

And I wake up all sloshed
Feel it still up in mah head
Hurts all over..
How many did I had
Beer for company used to be good
Oh whatever happened
Didn’t even get laid
Well I had a nice time yesterday
But oh shit the bill is still to be paid
I thought I looked good
What happened to my face

[telephone crackle]
“hey sweetie.. how u doing.. I am sorry for..
I mean yeah I was..
Uhhh yes you understand don’t you..
No I mean..
Hey it’s ok
Pleaseee”
snap

Am sorry honey am sorry miss
I didn’t mean it that way
Wasn’t me, the beer inside
Am sorry didn’t I say

Damn they don’t understand
What wrong have I done
That’s how I am
Can’t I have a li’l fun

[telephone crackle]
“hey harry what u doin tonite??
let’s go to joe’s
yeah nine
cool c’ya”

Told ya, it’s not bad
Told ya, am not sad
am not alone honey
I got beer for company…!!

2006-08-24T05:18:00.000-07:00

Green

green is the day..
green is the mood..
green is the way..
n greeeeeeeeen is yoooooooou...

--guitars n drums trash--

ahhhhhhh never before it's been so hazy....
mmmmmmmmmmm never before it's been so crazy....

the distant cloud is calling...
the green hill-top beckoning..
the eerie wind is chilling..
the cold silence shrieking...

greeeeeeeeen is the daaaaay..
green is the mood..
greeeeeeeeen is the waaaaay..
n greeeeeeeeen is yoooooooou...

-- guitar leads---

[gruff voice]
people standing all around..
falling like nine-pins..
the god is falling..
yeah even he is limping..
hahaha....

the sky, the seeeeeeeeeeeeea..
all are getting to meeeeeee..
they want me 2 drown..
but am holding on 2 green..

greeeeeeeeen is the daaaaay..
green is the mood..
greeeeeeeeen is the waaaaay..
n greeeeeeeeen is yoooooooou...

[gruff voice]
the circles are getting dark under the eyes
n darkness also befalls my mind
may the devil reign the land, the seas
may the devil rule the skyyyyyyy...

[distant echo]
is tht a blue patch up there.. awww shit pass me the joint...

2006-07-26T02:06:00.000-07:00

Rock B‘r’ands

As I write this a Bengali Rock band called ‘Fossils’ blasts away my headphones & a lot more will follow suit. Another one of those unknown bands which will get lost after some time. Another one of those bands who do a few hundred gigs, whom the people love performing but still will get lost and settle in their alternative professions.

Why exactly does this happen? Are they not making good music? I don’t think so. Quite a few of these bands make music of international quality. The guitar leads, the riffs are amazing. Does India not have enough rock lovers? No, I think there are more than enough. So what exactly is the problem?

Well there are a lot of factors to this, lets start with the successes to see where we are going wrong.

When we talk about a particular band being successful it’s more of a brand than a band at that time. Metallica’s last album was totally crap but it sold, it sold millions because it’s “Metallica”. Look at U2 and Pearl Jam experimenting of late, they can do that because they are sure they will sell. That’s what being a brand is all about.

Let’s talk local; everybody in India knows “Strings” and of late “Jal” how come these bands are successful??? Simple they sing in the language of masses, you don’t need to be a genius to figure that out. And they can even boast about international success the former recently was part of a big Hollywood blockbuster’s soundtrack and both have them also have lot of songs to boast of in Hindi movies. A lot of German bands started singing in German and became so popular on the international front that they re-sung their songs in English.

It’s pretty simple: Thou shalt give the masses what they want and thou will rock the world.

But in the process one has to be smart enough to see how you shape your career.

Doing covers is not something new but it has to stop somewhere. A lot of bands keep on singing covers which the crowd encourages them to do too but the band loses it’s own identity in the whole process. That’s not how they should be doing it. They have to give the crowd a mix of both and not lose their originality in the process.

“Strange Brew” a famous band in Pune has suffered a similar fate. They are a bunch of very talented and very polished musicians but last year they brought out an album of their own priced Rs 50 and the sales still are pretty countable.

Why did this happen to people who are so talented that they can play a song to perfection on stage with no rehearsal at all? These people play ‘Classic Rock’ and they played covers in their genre for more than a decade and that’s where they lost their originality. They used to put in some of their originals once in a while but mostly their covers got all the attention. Today they are either into teaching music or their alternative professions and perform only in the after-hours. Though they still are very popular among the local crowd, they lost out on all the fame and recognition they could have got.

Though it is not as bad as it looks, the Bengali rock band I talked about in the beginning sings in ‘Bengali’, their own language and is immensely popular among Bengali circles. We have similar examples of bands from kerala. ‘Mother Jane’ another band from down south insists on singing only originals and supposedly is the most well paid. And of late there are bands playing every genre which were untouched earlier in India, so there is something for everybody. “Euphoria” is a classic example of giving the masses what they want. They mellowed down their music immensely just to suit the mass, though their original fans hate them for doing that but they of course will finally come back to play what they actually did and the masses are going to accept because they are more than a band. They are a ‘brand’.

~-Keep rockinG-~

2006-07-10T02:12:00.000-07:00

Drops...

The sun hasen't shone in ages
the rain doesn't stop
The smoke gets thicker n thicker
but it ain't still hot

Daaaaaamn....

is this a dream
it ainte goin fast
is it gonna get real
how long it gonna last

i wanna run but i can't
i wanna scream i wanna chant..
but there's something stuck
deep inside..

O get away from me
get lost in the sky
just leave me alone
i wanna go high

here it comes again
another drop of pain
O it doesn't stop does it..?
this miserable rain..

2006-06-07T01:50:00.000-07:00

well this is called Not a Tear...

all is said n all is done..
you realize it with a bitter thud..
the rustling leaves the falling rain drops..
the only companions on the loner's tomb.

--crazy leads--

this is not what i lived for..
this is not why i died..
wanted some peace for my soul..
i just wanted to be aliiiiiiive..
all those years spent in this hell
even now hell is mine..
not a drop of tear on my grave..
the devil calls me in his shrine..

--leads--

come to me o battered soul
i'll give you what your lord couldn't
the under-world beckons you
cuz thts the place for your heaaaaaaaaart..

the world is cruel..
and had always been..
you get cheated..
yeah the lord is mean..
inspite of all you gave to him
didnt even get a tear on your end..

not a teaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaar aaaah...
not a teaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaar aah

this is not what i lived for..
this is not why i died..
not a drop of tear on my grave..
i'm going to the devil's shrine...

not a teaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaar aaaah...
not a teaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaar aah

yeah i am coming...

2006-05-29T05:28:00.000-07:00

written while in air between the skies of b'lore n chennai..

Castle in the clouds

Deep down the dungeons of humanity
Lived a man trapped in insanity
Ridiculed by the society
Written down by the prophecy

But he fought the odds
Like there were none
And escaped to the heavens
to be the one
and then he made a castle in the clouds..
a castle in the clouds yeah…

-- lead guitars--

the sun would shine
when he smiled
the wind would shriek
if he cried

he was mad
he was loud
he was crazy
he was god

and he ruled
cuz he was the man
who built
a castle in the clouds………….

He fought the odds like there were none
Escaped to the heavens to be the one
n he built a
castleeeeeeeeeeee in the clouds

2006-05-29T01:13:00.000-07:00

one of the songs i wrote sm time back...

ConstrainT

Your dad doesn’t want you to borrow his car
……………..
Your mama doesn’t want you to smoke in the house
..…………..
Your sister doesn’t want you to peek in her room
……………..
The police doesn’t want you to drive above 80…
It’s a fucking constraint

………..guitar leads……………

don’t give a damn
you are crazy
n will remain
let the world go eat shit
just be insane

…….…...drums solo………..…

the law doesn’t let you drink till 18
It’s a fucking constraint
The ppl frown if you make out in the park..
It’s a fucking constraint
The rules don’t let you dope on the road..
It’s a fucking constrainnnnnnnt..

Go fuck the rules
Do what you want to
Just follow your heart
But the world’s gonna stop
Cuz.. it’s a fuuuuuuuuuuckin constraint..

2006-05-18T23:27:00.000-07:00

Rock n Rooligion

There have always been people who connect the both, a little to my displeasure.
Ok lets start with what “rock” or rather “rock n roll” was all about when elvis started it in the 50s…??
It was all about “teenage defiance of adult values and authority” (picked from somewhere on the net :D) all about rebellion, all about living life their way and not what the society or people teach them. And religion is something exactly opposite… every religion lays out a set of rules n teaches one a way of living. And both these genres of thoughts are absolutely contradicting.
As some of my friends claim that all the major popular rock bands are all about self indulgence and it’s actually only the Christian rock bands which make any real sense.
I would beg to differ.. they sang what they felt.. if they had a troubled childhood why shouldn’t they be talking about it..?? the society doesn’t understand them, why shouldn’t they be singing about it..?? they fall in love, why shoudn’t they make a song on that..?? a man always gets his passion from what he feels.. the music is gonna be good only when it comes from the inside. You get hurt by people, you sing about it.. you are happy it shows in your songs.. it’s all natural it is not self indulgence..
Religion is not something natural.. it’s a set of rules set out by man (or sent by god as some would like to believe) to restrict, restrain oneself and that exactly is what rock is not all about. You havta be free in your mind, free of all the constraints..
Ok, there might be a lot of Christian bands who might be very very talented but still remain unknown that’s cuz their music lacks that passion, that freedom, that restrain free spirit which rock is supposed to have..
Then I would be asked how do I justify those black, death metal bands..
Well they are also singing what they feel, some do not believe in the existence of god n so talk about that.. some believe that the whole system is wrong and it should not be this way so defy god.. it all goes with the spirit of rock..
But preaching a religion and god definitely doesn’t go with it’s spirit…

some people would still believe that religion is their only passion n so that's what they would write their music about..

ok fine it's a free world...

let the spirit of rock rule..

2006-04-07T00:15:00.000-07:00

Disease

Everybody realizes one day or the other that life is one.

Striving to make one’s presence known, struggling, fighting every single minute so that you could do the same the next minute. We were supposed to be humans so why are we running the rat race..?? A new kid being born every second, born into bondage just like the rest of us. He’ll struggle for his existence just like us, he’ll struggle to keep his relations, he’ll save each penny so that he can buy a house, he’ll work late hours to earn money so that he can maintain his lifestyle. Do we really need all this, was this the purpose of us being born. What do you call people like the T.V. actor who committed suicide yesterday are they really cowards or are they brave enough to change the thing which is wrong. Isn’t this the biggest disease what man kind has? Have you ever taken out the time to take a long calm breath and realize why are you running? Are you running towards life or running away..?? Doesn’t the tranquil scent of death seem more beckoning than life?? Doesn’t one have more peace on the other side?

Getting up everyday following the same crappy ritual over and over again. Doing all the things you hate, loathing yourself for what you are doing & still getting up everyday to do the same. For those who don’t even have the time to realize this, it is bliss just like the bird who closes his eyes when he sees the cat coming. But the truth will still remain that with every breath you take death is closing on you. What do people who realize this do..?? is stopping to live a solution? Or should one make each second of your life more meaningful by chasing your dreams.. but what if by chasing your own dreams you get stuck in the same rat race, get stuck in the same run of the mill job, still ending up living your life the way you didn’t want to. Is the whole thing fair?? That’s why it is a disease. Look at people who slog their asses all day long doing some work which really doesn’t concern them and then get drunk in the night just to forget the whole thing so that they can go about the same thing the next day again.

You see the morning newspapers and see people fighting for territory fighting for money fighting for power, was this what man was created to do..? You throw away the paper indifferently cuz you just have too much of your own problems. The bills which you still have to clear, to pay off the next installment of the loan you took for the house. Look at the old man who is too old to even go next door, look at the regret on his face that he didn’t take enough vacations, that he didn’t spend enough time with his family so that he could earn more money for them, that he did what he did because he didn’t have a choice.

What’s the fault of the child who was just born with it, a disease, a dangerous congenital disease.

2006-03-16T00:37:00.000-08:00

this was a song i wrote while coming back on my bike in rain after a b'ful excursion in the hills behind mah office...

Crazeee....

i dun wanna grow up
i just wanna play
u think i am crazee
crazee as they say..

i just wanna live
every breath i take
i dun wanna die
no no not today

i dun wanna give up
give it all away
wanna be insane n
crazee till i stay...

2005-12-30T01:41:00.000-08:00

whoa never thot i'd start blogging some day..
but got nuthin much 2 do in life so need some tp...